Breathe, Damn It: Part II

15 Saturday Sep 2012

Tags

Breathe, Breathing, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Ellen Degeneres, Food, health, Helen Mirren, Meditation, Nawang Khechog, Oprah Wintrey, Relaxation, Sleep, Tina Fey, turnip, Vision Boards

Here comes the turnip truck!

MEDITATION

Ahhhh… meditation. I love to meditate… even though I think I am doing it wrong.

In my opinion meditation is very difficult for a person like me. My mind is always racing with thoughts about everything. For example, during a twenty-minute meditation session when I’m seeking inner peace, world peace, physical healing or a past life, I either think of a slew of questions instead or I fall asleep from the exhaustion of thinking too much.

Falling asleep during meditation is VERY common – just ask this kid:

In the event that you wish to listen to some nice mediation music again while you read, click here to listen to more from Nawang Khechog.

Note: It takes a few seconds before the music begins.

TONI’S TYPICAL MEDITATION SESSION

Bell dings to open meditation session.

Breathe…

Concentrate on the breath and on the pretty bright yellow light embracing your whole body – inside and out. It is healing you.

Breathe…

Enjoy the wonderful garden that your soul is floating through right now. … Hey! Is that Oprah’s favorite, giant oak tree in my garden? Is that a sign that Oprah is coming?

No. That is just a regular old oak tree.

Breathe…

What should I eat for lunch right after this session? I think I will have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Breathe…

What should I make for dinner tonight? Pasta? Cabbage? Take-out?

I wonder what Jim wants for dinner tonight? Jim probably wants pizza. Jim always wants pizza. I think I will make cabbage lasagna.

On second thought, maybe we’ll just order a pizza or maybe we will go out for a pizza because I don’t really want to clean up all the pizza boxes and stuff.

Breathe…

Darn it! I just remembered I ran out of peanut butter yesterday. Now what do I do? I will just make myself an omelet for lunch because I had an English muffin for breakfast with a hardboiled egg and a ½ a papaya so that is at least two different styles of egg. …

No. That’s too much egg for you, T, because you have high cholesterol. High cholesterol runs in your family. Thanks family! I will have a veggie burger instead and be done with it.

Breathe…

God, I want a personal chef. I wish that Oprah, Tina and/or Ellen would hurry up and discover me so that they can offer me a job making decent enough money so that I can live comfortably and buy a personal chef.

Breathe…

Is wanting to work with/for Oprah, Tina and/or Ellen my dream or someone else’s dream? If it is someone else’s dream then fate suggests that it can’t be my dream and I have to have my own dream. Or did I read that part about dreams wrong?

I think I am incapable of dreaming because I can’t even decide what I want to be when I grow up. My life is almost 39.5% over and what do I have to show for it? Why isn’t meditation making me feel more enlightened right now and less pitiful?

Lordy, those men working on the house next door are so loud and they listen to crappy music.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I hate that music.

You are floating with your angel friend now – feel light and free.

Breathe…

Why aren’t I able to reshape my body even though I am eating right and working out and put a picture of the body I want on my vision board? I seem to be expanding instead of shrinking. That rots. I don’t want to buy new clothes in case I lose weight – that should make Jim financially happy since I can’t afford to be buying new clothes anyway. God, I want Oprah, Tina and/or Ellen to hurry up and discover me so that I can buy new clothes soon… I don’t want to be a senior citizen before I can afford to buy new clothes because … hmmmm… new thought: I hope I’m stylish like Helen Mirren when I am older…

Breathe…

What is my purpose in this lifetime supposed to be?

Breathe…

If I want to reshape my body into that of a perfect Goddess then I had better not eat pizza tonight …

Breathe…

I will order a Caesar salad with no anchovies or dressing.

Yum. Can’t wait …

Breathe…

How can I be of service to others? Deepak Chopra says that is the most important thing you can strive for in life … to be of service to others.

Dr. Dyer thinks so too…

Breathe…

I used to like Eckhart Tolle the best, but I think I like Deepak the best now… and Dr. Dyer… no Eckhart…

Breathe…

Does Tina Fey like Deepak? Oprah loves Deepak.

Am on the right career path?

BREATHE!!!!

God, can’t those workers next door SHUT UP!!!

Am I on a good career path or am I not, damn it!?

Am I on any path?

Am I too lazy?

Do I work too much?

Why can’t I just enjoy existing?

BREATHE!

Maybe reciting a poem will help me focus … Twas the night before Christmas …

Ugh!!! Stop! It’s the summer not winter. Dork.

Breathe…

God, I’m bored … Is it OK to be bored?

Are those workers smoking? Is that smoke I smell? My Lord!!! It’s 2012 – don’t they know smoking is bad for you??? It can kill. Kill. KILL!

Breathe…

I have friends who smoke. They know who they are. Please stop smoking, friends, I want you to live. I am sending loving, non-smoking thoughts to all my beautiful friends…

I wish I had been born with psychic powers. That would be so fun.

I wish I was born a Jedi Master. That would be better.

Am I missing signs that are meant to guide me through life? Probably.

Is that little voice in my head God talking to me or is it just me talking to myself and hoping that God is talking to me and if it is God talking to me then why can’t He be a little more specific with what he wants me to do with myself and my life?

BREATHE, DAMN IT!!!!

And, for the love of Pete, what on earth…

The bell dings and the meditation session is over.

See what I mean?

I’ve studied with all the great meditation teachers via books, periodicals, You Tube, DVDs and CDs and still I’m not that great at quieting my mind and letting it slip into the gap of enlightenment and personal fulfillment … but, I’m better than I used to be!

I just know that the more I meditate the better I am going to get. Maybe one day I will be so good at it that I can float my soul self over to Oprah, Tina and/or Ellen and whisper into their ear(s) that undertheturniptruck.wordpress.com is a great site to visit and they will visit it and then they will find me.

Ahhhh – the power of meditation!

Then again, someone (I can’t remember who) recently suggested that I just email each of them my blog site … now there is a thought. I will get right on it after I post this article!

In the event that you, my Followers, would like to learn to meditate, here is a link to some video lessons by the master, Deepak Chopra.

Note: You may have to hit the back button after watching the video clip in order to return to this page.

Video Clip: Deepak Chopra Meditation Technique

Stay tuned for part 3 of the Breathe, Damn It series, which will focus on yoga and Pilates.

Ommmmmmmmmmm

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.

Mikayla’s Happy Birthday Adventure

13 Monday Aug 2012

Posted by Toni Ruscio in Tributes and Tiaras

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Beauty and the Beast, Birthdays, Boston Bruins, Boston Red Sox, Broadway, Confirmation, Fenway Park, Food, Happy Birthday, Laughter, Rain Delay, sports, The Tomb, The Upper Crust Pizzeria, transportation, travel, turnip, turnip truck, wicked

Here comes the turnip truck!

So, as I’ve mentioned, Mikayla is one of my many godchildren (I have 3) – what I have not mentioned is that I try always to treat my godchildren like gold when I see them for birthdays and holidays and in general throughout the year.

Mikayla recently celebrated her 16^th birthday (October 4, 2011) and so I thought I should get her a really fun gift. After hemming and hawing I decided to buy Mikayla a beautiful silver ring.

But then things changed.

I got busy and I kept forgetting to order the ring and then FALL faded into winter which faded into SPRING.

Mikayla, being Catholic, was confirmed in the spring (April 14, 2012) and seeing that I hadn’t even ordered the ring by that point, I thought it would make a nicer confirmation gift. This put me back at square one in the birthday gift department. And I was running out of time! I mean her 17^th birthday was fast approaching and I still hadn’t made good on the 16^th birthday gift yet!

What to do?

That is when I had a eureka moment!

I will do what I almost always do and take her someplace cool.

Over the years Jim and I have taken Mikayla on many adventures including:

Plays in New York:

Wicked

Beauty and the Beast

An Egyptian exhibit called The Tomb:

A tour of Fenway Park:

A Bruins game:

A Cirque du Soleil show called Dralion:

This time I decided to take Mikayla to a Red Sox game!

Yippie!

Jim and I decided to buy the extra cheap seats in the bleachers ($20 per ticket) so that Mikayla could bring a friend. Mikayla brought Anne.

Before I go on, I need to stop and insert a picture of Anne’s older sister Rita. Rita will have a cow if Anne is featured on the Turnip Truck before her, as she has been a faithful subscriber for eons and has yet to even get a mention. That said, this is Rita:

Note: this is not really the Rita I am talking about, but it is the picture that kept popping up when I tried to Google her. Sorry, Rita, but at least you got a mention. You can blame Scary Turnip (see the Explained page) and your sister for not forwarding me a picture of you as I asked them to do 100 times.

Back to the story of:

Mikayla’s Happy Birthday Adventure.

So, Mikayla brought Anne…

Jim and I bought the tickets for the Red Sox game the week before we intended to go so that we I could have a good idea of what the weather would be like. You can never be too careful when your view of the game is from the cheap seats.

Jim decided that Tuesday, July 31^st would be the perfect night to go, but I was apprehensive because the weather app on my stupid iPhone had a picture of a cloud and lightning bolts.

Jim said it would be fine.

He was wrong.

Again.

The evening started off lovely enough. On our way to the ballpark, we stopped and had a slice of pizza at The Upper Crust Pizzeria because Jim and Anne were hungry.

Note: Each of us had a slice of our own. We didn’t share one slice. That would be weird because we barely know Anne.

We then moved on to Fenway Park. When we got there it was just like a carnival outside.

There were souvenir shops.

There were boys hawking programs for exorbitant amounts of money.

There were bands.

There were clowns.

There were rides.

There was food.

Jim couldn’t decide what to eat first!

We finally made it to our seats and we were so happy because it was a warm night and it looked like the rain was going to hold off.

Alas, we should have known it was too good to be true for within a matter of minutes the rain came.

And, oh how it rained!!!

By the end of the 4th inning the bleachers were really clearing out!

We stayed.

We got soaked.

The Sox ended up calling a rain delay in the 6th inning and eventually they just called the game.

The Red Sox won.

We ran back to our car, which Jim parked about 50+ blocks away so he could park for free.

We stopped under every awning and tree we came to so that we could wring ourselves out.

Before we left the house I told the girls to bring a raincoat.

Anne didn’t listen. She brought a skimpy little sweatshirt instead.

Silly girl.

When we finally made it to the car, we tumbled into it laughing hysterically.

This night could have turned into a horrible situation fraught with teenage angst, but it didn’t. Except for the occasional apology from me (I felt horrible that Mikayla’s Happy Birthday Adventure was turning out to be anything but perfect.), there was not a moan or groan to be heard from anyone. The girls took it all in stride and just kept smiling through the unrelenting downpour. Nobody complained about frizzy hair or ruined make-up – not even Jim! We just kept laughing at the craziness of the evening.

I really need to give props to Mikayla (and her little friend too). Even though she is getting older she doesn’t mind hanging out with the ~~older folks~~ me. She never seems embarrassed to be seen with us me.

This is Mikayla and me at her Confirmation:

If Mikayla is embarrassed by ~~our~~ my presence, one would never know it; which makes her a good actor, which then makes me a brilliant director since I taught her everything she knows about the craft. Either way it’s pretty cool and I am grateful.

I hope when Jack is her age he still loves hanging out with me too.

I am thinking about bringing Mikayla to the zoo for her 17th birthday.

I hope she loves it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKAYLA!

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.

A Delightful Day!

27 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by Toni Ruscio in Food, Travel

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

adventure, B Boys, Boats, Boston, Break Dancing, Carousel, Chef, Clowns, Cost-Effective Trips, Dancers, Day Trips, Eric Hammer, Faneuil Hall Market Place, Fish & Chips, Food, Gazpacho, Get-A-Ways, Habor Express, harbor express, Italian Ice, Lobster, Maine, Mansions, McCormick and Schmick’s, New York, Newport, newport mansions, restaurants, Salad, Shopping, Sightseeing, Slush, Soup, Street Performers, Swan Boats, Todd Sullivan, travel, Trip, turnip, turnip truck, vacation

Here comes the turnip truck!

If you are like me and you don’t really enjoy taking long trips anywhere, then day trips – or weekend get-a-way trips – are for you!

In most cases you don’t have to go far or spend a lot of money to have a good time.

Some of my favorite short trips include:

The Newport Mansions

New York City

Maine

Boston

Recently, Jim and I took a wonderful day trip into Boston, which I will highlight for you now. We decided to go to Boston’s Faneuil Hall Market Place because it is a very happening place that’s close to home and because I wanted to go shopping at some of the stores that are there.

First, we decided that it would be ~~cheaper~~ most fun to take a boat ride into Boston.

A ride on the Harbor Express will cost about $16 per round-trip ticket if you leave from Quincy, Ma like we did.

I love boats. I wish I owned a boat, but I don’t have any money. If Oprah, Tina and/or Ellen would just hurry up and discover me, then maybe I will be able to afford a boat.

GIRLS, I’M WAITING!

Buying a boat is expensive.

After docking in Boston, we headed over to Faneuil Hall to have lunch. Jim got to pick the restaurant and luckily he picked McCormick and Schmick’s.

Isn’t that such a funny name? Schmick.

Eating at McCormick and Schmick’s will cost you some money, but you won’t go broke and the food is awesome.

If you are looking for cheap eats then head inside the marketplace where you will find a variety of foods to choose from.

WARNING: the smorgasbord of choices inside the Marketplace is not nearly as good as McCormick and Schmick’s food selection and it is annoyingly crowded in there and some of the food at some of the places looks like it has sat out for some time; but the choice is up to you.

I’ve been to McCormick and Schmick’s twice this summer. I had a good meal and a nice server the first time, but I had a mouth-watering meal and stupendous server the second time!

My first visit was on Jack’s 1^st birthday, which was a few days before my trip in with Jim.

Happy Birthday, Jack!

What a little man!

During my second visit, Jim and I each ordered a bowl of the Sandia Gazpacho (chilled soup) for an appetizer. This gazpacho has a watermelon base. According to our server, Todd Sullivan, Sandia means watermelon. I believe Todd Sullivan is correct because he looks honest and because he is the best server of all time. I suggest that when you all go and eat at McCormick and Schmick’s in Faneuil Hall, as I know you will because I’m subconsciously using The Force on all of you now, you ask for Todd Sullivan. He really is the bestest. You’ll see.

This is Todd Sullivan:

Sorry, ladies, I do not know if Todd Sullivan is free.

DISCLAIMER: One would naturally assume that McCormick and Schmick’s is paying me for all this free publicity they are getting and/or for the amount of times I mention their name in this article, but they are not. I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart so that my readership will learn about new and exciting opportunities. You are all welcome.

Back to the food … if I’m being honest then I’m telling you that Jim and I didn’t expect the gazpacho to be so incredible. I mean it is just chilled soup (topped with huge chunks of avocado and real crabmeat). Sadly, we wolfed it all down before I thought to take a picture of it.

For his main dish, Jim ordered the tasty fish and chips, which I recommended after having ordered it during my first trip to the establishment.

I ordered a lovely lobster salad. My Lord, it was so delectable!

Next, we shared a delicious key lime pie for dessert.

Chef Eric Hammer was responsible for all this scrumptiousness. I figured he was so busy cooking up a storm in the kitchen that I didn’t want to disturb him for a photo, so I decided to include a symbol for him instead.

Here is Chef Eric Hammer’s symbol:

Jim really loved taking in all the sights throughout the day.

Sightseeing is free.

After lunch, I decided to do a little shopping and Jim came along and pretended to enjoy it. That’s my Gnomeo!

Shopping will cost someone a few dollars depending on the shopper and his/her inclination to buy everything in sight.

We also got to see a plethora of talented and/or weird street performers!

We saw clowns:

Clowns are technically free, but they ask for money.

We saw singers:

Singers are also technically free, but ask for money.

But our favorite street performance was the group of B BOYS we saw. We gave them all our extra money … that amounted to about $8 in total.

They were awesomely fun.

Imagine cool thumping music in your head as you look at the next few images.

If you are not one of those cheapo people who pretend they don’t even have a dollar bill on them, then this activity will cost you anywhere from $ 1 to ? – It depends on how generous you are.

For more information on this wonderful group of dancers you can visit www.yakcrewent.com or go and find them in Faneuil Hall.

There are even a couple of carousels for you to enjoy on your Boston adventure.

Jack, RiRi and Ally took a spin on the carousel across from Faneuil Hall for Jack’s birthday.

The carousel is about $3 per person to ride.

To finish out the afternoon, you can grab a slushy and enjoy it on the boat ride back while you ponder your very delightful day!

Expect to pay about $3.50 per slushy.

Wherever you decide to go, I wish you loads of fun, plenty of memories and safe travels!

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.

There Goes Peter Cottontail … with his hardboiled eggs

29 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by Toni Ruscio in Holiday Greetings!

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Bunny, Candles, Church, Easter, Easter Vigil, Eggs, Feast, Feet, Food, Good Friday, Holiday, Holy Thursday, Jesus, Lent, Mass, Movies, Peter Cottontail, Sacrifice, turnip

Here comes the turnip truck!

HELLO MY FOLLOWERS!

I’M BACK!!!

I’m so sorry for the extra long hiatus; but, you know how it goes: life overwhelms and some of us have spouses who refuse to let their other half be full-time bloggers because I don’t get paid any money to be a full-time blogger so I have to spend all my time and energy working at a bunch of time-consuming jobs so that I can bring home some bacon bits.

Such is my life.

HAPPY BELATED EASTER!

My biggest regret was not reaching out to you all and wishing you the happiest Easter and/or Passover holiday. Easter is my most favorite holiday of all – I love everything about it: the hard-boiled eggs, the bunnies, the bubbles, watching people fall into food comas, the pastel colors, the flowers, the egg hunt, all the Jesus and Moses movies and going to church.

Going to church is my most favorite part of the Eater holiday.

I go to church on Holy Thursday (but I don’t get my feet washed because I was emotionally scarred freshman year of high school when Sister Regina – who was a lovely women except for this one incident – coerced me into getting my feet washed at the Holy Thursday Mass and I had nylons on and seeing as I couldn’t exactly take them off in the middle of church the priest washed the nylons too and so I had to sit through the rest of Mass and then walk home feeling like a wet rag).

I am wondering if Dusty had his feet washed…

I go to church twice on Good Friday, first at 3pm for the Stations of the Cross (it always kills me when Jesus falls the second time and Simon from Cyrene helps Him carry His cross) and next at 7pm for the Veneration of the Cross (I don’t actually kiss the cross like the rest of the congregation does – germs and all that – but I do a nice genuflection to show my respect and gratitude for Jesus and His sacrifice).

I go to church for the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday (because I love to hold the cheap congregational candles in the dark of the church at the beginning of Mass and curse as the hot wax melts and slips through the flimsy cardboard protection cover and all over my hand).

I go to church on Easter morning (because I love to see how many holiday bandwagon people come to celebrate Christ’s resurrection).

Even Christ can’t believe how many fair-weather friends he has on Easter and Christmas.

He would like to know where the heck you people are the other 50 Sundays of the year.

THE EASTER MOVIE-MENT

Each year, as Easter approaches, I watch every single Easter movie I own.

After reviewing my Easter movie collection, Jim decided it was too minusucle and needed to be beefed up and so he went out and bought me more! Before Easter I only owned King of Kings, The Ten Commandments, Jesus, and The Passion of the Christ. After Easter I added the following movies to my Holy stockpile: The Robe, The Greatest Story Ever Told and Jesus of Nazareth.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY… AND BIRTHDAY…

This year Easter was extra special because the family celebrated my parents 40th anniversary.

This is a picture of my parents:

Easter also happened to be my Auntie Donna’s 60th birthday.

This is Auntie Donna:

A LENTEN SACRIFICE

Another noteworthy tidbit: I gave up cussing for Lent. For 40 days and 40 nights I promised God I would not swear. Cussing has become a real problem for me, which is weird because I used to hate hearing cuss words. I still hate hearing other people cuss. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, as I walked along my virtuous path, a gremlin snuck into my brain and took it over. My word of choice starts with an S and ends with a T.

My mom, RiRi Poppins (pronounced Ree-Ree Poppins), told me to put $1 in my rice bowl every time I swore during Lent and I was doing that until I couldn’t afford to do it anymore.

I was slowly going bankrupt in my effort to sacrifice and do good, so I had to change my rice bowl donation to a penny per cuss word. In the end I ended up donating over $30.00 to the poor.

That money is going to feed a lot of hungry children.

At least something good came out of my failure!

THE EASTER FEAST

I wish that I could feed all the hungry people in the world a hard-boiled egg at Easter time. I love Easter food – especially those hard-boiled eggs!

My mom takes 3 days off from work just to cook and bake.

One of her specialty dishes is the Easter cookie, featuring the hard-boiled egg.

Yeah food!!!

There was so much food that Jim and I kept going to RiRi’s house for leftovers on the days that followed. It was awful because I couldn’t stop myself from stuffing everything and anything into my mouth – even after I was beyond stuffed. I just kept inhaling it … and paying the price later. My poor intestines.

Every dinner we ate that week followed the same pattern I established on Easter day:

First, I ate a few pieces of my mom’s other specialty, pita or pizza gania (RiRi doesn’t really know how to spell this dish, so I’m giving you what I got), which is essentially a pie containing hard-boiled eggs, cheese and meats like ham, sausage, etc.

Mmm Mmm Good!

Next, I devoured some manicotties and chicken masala.

Then, I inhaled some ham and veggies and more starch.

Finally, I moved on to the Easter cookies, cakes, Italian pastries and Ricotta pies.

When I was all done Jim rolled me out the door and brought me home.

Since then, my insides have been hating me… Despising me… Torturing me for weeks because I abused it so. They’ve made me promise to never treat them so cruelly again. Thus, I am becoming a fish-a-tarian (again). I tried this a few years ago and it was great except that I gained 30-something pounds. I will try to be smarter this time around – maybe eat more tofu and less pasta. Maybe I will even work-out.