Toni-Time

Tags

Alone, Alone Time, Breathe, De-Stress, Me Time, Other People, Quiet, Stress

Here comes the turnip truck! 

Dear Followers,

I’m so sorry I’ve been away for so, so long. The turnip truck was in the shop for repairs and I was overwhelmed with work. Bla Bla Bla … So many excuses.

Many of my friends have missed their occasional meal of turnips, which has inspired me to take the old truck out for a few spins around the web again.

Photo of a sad and lonely friend – and avid Turnip Truck reader – Looking desperately for the turnip truck … it’s OK, PK, I’m right here …

Yes, I have returned and you can once again expect an oh-so-sporadic, and hopefully entertaining, blog article from me every now and then. However, I beg you to go easy on me, as my blog writing skills are very rusty and it may take me a little time to bounce back. I’m just getting my feet wet again!

Let’s begin!

Today I’d like to tell you about one of my favorite pastimes: BEING ALONE. Although I love people (in the real way and not the Donald Trump way, but that is a blog spot for a different day…), I also like a little Toni-Time.

‘Nuf Said …

Almost everyone who knows me knows I love being alone. Well, at least I thought so until this past winter when I discovered that Jim, my husband of thirteen years, did not know! What the heck, Jim! (For more on Jim’s marriage mishaps, please see the Gnomeo and His Ever-Loving Wife article.)

All is good now because my nephew Jack (remember him?) brought his Uncle Jimmy up to speed.

Jack – The Early Years

Jack – Current Day

Here is how is all went down:

It was a cold and snowy winter’s day on February 8, 2016 and Jim had gone to my mom’s to help her shovel after he was done helping me clear out our own driveway. You all remember my mom: RiRi Poppins.

RiRi Poppins out for a leisurely stroll at Webb Park in Weymouth, Ma … Doesn’t she look happy?

It was so cold that day that if you were unfortunate enough to be outside shoveling the heaps of snow the plows deposited in front of your just cleared-out driveway, then you found that in a matter of minutes icicles would form and drop from the tip of your little nose … or your big nose … depending on that with which you were blessed. Alas, the deep freeze didn’t stop Jack and Uncle Jimmy from building a snowman!

I’ve blurred out Jim’s face again because I didn’t want him to be recognized and then embarrassed for not knowing about Toni-Time after thirteen years of marriage.

At least last winter in Massachusetts wasn’t as bad as the winter before! We literally couldn’t even find our little house for months behind the mounds and mounds of snow!

A View of Our House From the Street: Winter 2014-2015

A View of the Street From Our Front Window: Winter 2014-2015

But I digress…

The following conversation took place after the shoveling and snowman-building was done:

Jack: Why do you still have your coat on, Uncle Jim? Take it off and stay awhile.

Jim: I can’t stay, Jack. I need to get home.

Jack: Why do you have to go home?

Jim: Because I have work to do.

Jack: Oh.

Jim: And Ant T (that is what my nieces and nephew call me) is home and she is all alone.

Jack: But Ant T likes to be alone.

Jim: She does?

Jack: Duh! Yes!

Later in the day while Jack and RiRi Poppins were sitting at the kitchen table… 

RiRi Poppins: Jack, how do you know Ant T likes to be alone?

Jack: Because I was at her house one time and she told me so. Ant T and I talk, Nona. I know these things about her.

Not untrue Friends. Not untrue.

Me alone and documenting Toni-Time with my selfie stick

Why, I even got to enjoy a little Toni-Time recently when Jim had to have his hip replaced and spent some time in the hospital (he had the hip of a 75-year-old man and he is only 46 years old. Yikes!). People were shocked that I wasn’t at the hospital with Jim 24-7, but, I mean, come on people! He was fine! … He was better than fine. He had great nurses and his smile post-surgery was bigger than the one he was sporting pre-surgery! Jim loved his sort-of-alone-time too! (He had a private room so he was alone when there weren’t visitors, nurses and therapists passing through.) And, it’s not like I didn’t go up a least twice a day for a couple short visits … I did. And he slept most of the time I was there anyway, so please, folks, cut me some slack.

Here is proof that he, with his Ultra Bright smile, was just fine without me there to hang over him:

Jim Pre-Surgery Looking Fine

 

Jim Post-Surgery in Recovery Room Still Looking Fine

 

Jim in His Private Room – 10 Hours after Surgery Looking Better Than Fine

I had to blur out half Jim’s face because I didn’t want him to be embarrassed as he is wearing hospital garb in these photos – you can still see his big old smile though!

I’m not ashamed of taking my most cherished alone-time whenever I can get it and I encourage all of you to do the same! Maybe you have a garden in your yard where you like to sit and relax like I do and if you do then do it!

Sit! Relax! Enjoy! De-stress!

You’ll love it. I promise.

My Own Garden, Summer 2016

Well, that’s it for today, friends. The turnip truck needs a nap.

Happy Summer, Everyone!

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.

T

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Breathe, Damn It: Part IV

Tags

Anxiety, Baby Massage, Blood Pressure, Body Tissue, body tissues, control blood pressure, damaged muscles, De-Stress, Depression, Esthetician, Facial, health, Immune System, immune system function, Massage, Masseuse, mental-health, Muscles, Oasis Day Spa, Stress, turnip, turnip truck

Here comes the turnip truck!

Alas, we have reached our last chapter in the Breathe, Damn It series: Facials and Massages. Facials and massages are, in my opinion, the very best way to relax, detox and de-stress.

FACIALS

I think it is a proven fact that facials (are): 1. The best way to cleanse and hydrate your skin, 2. Awesome for increasing face circulation, 3. Have loads of emotional benefits, and 4. Help to prevent aging.

So, if your face is pruning up or flaky or blotchy or pimply or the like …

… you may want to consider a visit to your local spa. If you don’t have a local spa you can use mine:

Oasis Day Spa Website

Ask for Meagan

MASSAGES

Another possible proven fact is that massages: 1. Relieve stress, 2. Ease anxiety, 3. Manage depression, 4. Improve immune-system function, 5. Control blood pressure, 6. Calm or stimulate your muscles and body tissues, 7. Stimulate circulation, 8. Improve healing of damaged muscles, and 9. Stimulate your lymphatic system to clear wastes from your body and trigger your body’s release of endorphins and other stress-relieving hormones.

Awesome! Right?

The above information must be true because I found it on some website (I can’t remember which one) and websites are always right. Aren’t they?

So, if you are feeling achy or stressed out or knotted-up or backed-up or the like…

… you may want to consider a visit to your local spa. If you don’t have a local spa you can use mine:

Oasis Day Spa Website

Ask for Kathleen

I think I also read somewhere that massages can stimulate growth in infants! So – maybe – if shortness runs in your family and you have a child you will want to massage it into tallness!

Again, readers, please consult your doctor before giving your baby a massage – I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV. You can’t believe everything you read and I read a lot, so the chances of me getting misinformation somewhere along the line are pretty great.

If I had things my way I would be visiting Meagan and Kathleen every single day for these services. (You were introduced to my favorite esthetician, Meagan Scott, in my article on beauty – Kathleen is my favorite masseuse).

Kathleen and Meagan:

Both Meagan and Kathleen work at Oasis Day Spa in Weymouth, Massachusetts and they are the best and I highly encourage you to visit them some day soon. Firm believers in equal opportunity beautifying, they invite men to try out their services too!

SOME OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO TO RELAX

There are plenty of other things you can do to relax if one of the suggestions I’ve made in this Breathe, Damn It series thus far doesn’t float your boat. I will only outline them briefly below because I don’t want to stress anyone out who feels that this article is already too long and who is anxious to move onto some other activity. If you are one of these angst-ridden people, then I have some advice for you: BREATHE, DAMN IT!

First, you can watch a candle burn. I suggest you burn one with a nice patchouli scent.

ACCIDENTAL FIRE WARNING:

Don’t leave your candle unattended – bad things happen when candles go unattended for more than a minute and a half.

If you burn a candle or two while taking a tubby, as pictured above, and an accidental fire occurs, you can save yourself by sprinkling those vicious, stress-inducing flames with some of that scented water you are sitting in!

Second, you can stare at a tree. I suggest you choose a tree with luscious green leaves. I also suggest you pick a sunny day, as sitting in the rain on a cold and dreary day looking at a tree like an idiot will only thrust you further into a negative state.

Third, you can listen to soothing music while you rest in a hammock … or read Under the Turnip Truck. If you choose the hammock option make sure you know how to ease yourself into the net without flipping over onto your face because flipping over onto your face will only irritate you further, thereby defeating the purpose of the exercise.

Finally, you can kick the life out of a piece of technology. However, I would not kick the life out of any technology with an “i” in front of it, as these products are all extremely overpriced and if you own one which you purchased yourself you are probably already angry that  such an extravagant purchase has propelled you further into debt making you poorer than you were before you bought it and killing such a product will only piss you off more.

Soooo,

HAPPY DE-STRESSING!

Now…

BREATHE…

Ommmmmmmmmmm

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.

T

Breathe, Damn It: Part III

Tags

50 Best Yoga Positions, Back Pain, Bikram, Breath, Breathe, Breathing, Dancer's Body, dangerous sport, De-Stress, degree room, Downward Dog, Exercise, health, healthy-living, Hot Yoga, Inner Peace, Kathy Smith, personal coach, Pilates, Pilates Reformer, Stress, turnip, turnip truck, Well-Being, Yoga, yoga position

Here comes the turnip truck!

YOGA

I used to think that yoga would be difficult for a person like me, as I am ridiculously NOT flexible; but, I was wrong. If you can breathe you can do yoga.

I love yoga, but lately I haven’t had a chance to practice it much. Heck, I can’t even find the time to write my blog articles, forget about downward dog! Anyway, not stretching has caused my muscles to shrivel up and I can barely even stand up straight anymore. This is the truth!

Jack loves to mock this little handicap of mine. Every chance he gets he assumes a yoga position, which he knows is very difficult, if not impossible, for me to practice and he laughs in my face.

Where’s the love, Jack? Where’s the love?

When I was yogaizing I was going to hot yoga and regular yoga and, like I said, I loved it – most of the time.

What I DIDN’T love was hoofing it to the gym each time I had to go to a class. I like working out in the comfort of my own home – so that is what I am going to start doing with yoga. I bought a few really great yoga DVDs to guide me through and this will make me feel like there are other people in the room with me and like I have a personal coach. Two stuffed birds, one stone. (It’s not nice to throw rocks at living things.)

I also DIDN’T much enjoy the hot yoga. Although I love the way the heat loosens up my muscles so quickly, I am likely to NOT choose the broiler oven option anymore because I sweat so profusely that I start slipping all over the mat and then I fall and then I hurt myself.

Yoga can be a very dangerous sport. If a person is not careful they can very easily knot themselves up and that hurts too. Comfortable pain is fine, but acute pain should never be a part of yoga.

In the future, I am sure I will have a day when I forget how much I do not like hot yoga and I will stupidly decide to practice it in a 100+ degree room – I will close all the windows and turn up the heat to broil – and at the end of that day I am sure I will ask myself: “What was I thinking?!”

In spite of the challenges to my body, I think that yoga really helps with stress-reduction. In fact, starting today I am going to try to do yoga every morning  – or every 2^nd morning – for the rest of my life. I recently bought a book that I found on the bargain bookshelf at Barnes & Noble to help me with my plan.

I was motivated the minute I began reading the introduction. Here are the first words I read:

“After their first yoga class, people often report that they’ve slept better and feel taller. Yoga has helped people lose weight, overcome fears, conquer habits like smoking and develop better concentration, all of which help their performance in daily tasks. Others feel improved self-awareness, a deeper sense of well-being, developed compassion, enhanced relationships, greater self-acceptance, and a sensation of being at peace.”

Good luck to me!

PILATES

Pilates is another sport that I love to do and which I do well! I’m really good at strengthening my powerhouse and using my core muscles. Pilates even incorporates a little yoga – it is just not as boring as yoga.

Alas, if only I had the time to practice!

I own several Pilates videos and my very own Pilates machine. I just love it!

I recommend a Pilates reforming machine to anyone who wants to have a flexible and toned body … like a dancer’s.

I have practiced Pilates on and off for years, but have yet to achieve a dancer’s body. However, I know all that is going to change soon because I am going to start practicing again and this time it’s going to work! This time I am going to combine the Pilates workouts with the “Think System” of thinking things into reality and I am going to reshape my body!

If you are patient with yourself and with the process it will happen. I really believe that. Just a little bit longer …

I think you will love having your very own Pilates machine too, but if you buy one and you hate it then it is your own stupid fault for not trying it out first.

I also love that you can play with balls and rings and straps and weights and such when you practice Pilates. That is always a fun time.

Pilates is definitely my favorite sport to play. Definitely.

Stay tuned for part 4 of the Breathe, Damn It series, which will focus on facials and massages.

Ommmmmmmmmmm

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.

T

Breathe, Damn It: Part I

Tags

Acupressure, Acupressure Mats, Bed of Nails, Breathe, Calm, De-Stress, Facial, Healing, health, Massage, medicine, Meditation, Nawang Khechog, Peace, Pilates, Relax, Relaxation, Spoonk, Stress, Tea, turnip, Yoga

Here comes the turnip truck!

Followers, today starts my series on de-stressing called Breathe, Damn It.

Over the next few weeks I am going to give my opinions on how you can best de-stress your lives!

I will share with you some of the things that I do to bring peace to my often-stressful life. You will learn all about the fun of using an acupressure mat, the soothingness of meditation, the benefits of yoga and Pilates, and the joy of treating yourself to facials and massages.

So, let’s begin!

Maybe you want to run and grab yourself a cup of tea to sip on while you read – go ahead, I’ll wait.

Are you back yet?

Good.

There are many things you can do to destress, detox, and deflate. I will start this series by telling you about my least favorite.

In the event that you wish to listen to some nice mediation music while you read, click the You Tube link below. Nawang Khechog is one of my favorite musicians.

Jack loves to listen to Nawang while he sleeps.

Get Comfy.

Enjoy!

THE ACUPRESSURE MAT

This is my Spoonk acupressure mat:

This is my Bed of Nails acupressure pillow:

The makers of some acupressure mats recommend that customers use the product while naked in their own home (at least I hope they mean in one’s own home – how horrifying would it be for one stranger to see another stranger lying naked on an acupressure mat in the park or at the beach!). I personally cannot use this product without the aid of my clothing because doing so hurts like hell.

NOTE TO THE ACUPRESSURE MAT MAKERS: To the makers of all acupressure products – if I read the instructions wrong and you don’t recommend nakedness then that is your fault and not mine and you need to make the instructions clearer. Thank you and feel free to leave a comment and correct me if I am wrong.

As you can see from the picture below, the mats are lined with circular disks and each disk has a bunch of little sharp plastic nails sticking out of it.

Those nails are so sharp that the first time I tried the mat it poked a hole in my tank top. Now I only use that tank top when I lay on the mat.

One time when I was putting the mat away my hand grazed one of the disks and the little nails broke my skin open! So, should you try one of these mats yourself be very, very careful or you could maim yourself!

I have to say that I do enjoy lying on the mat if my skin isn’t in direct contact with any part of it. I don’t know if it is relieving any stress, but at least I get to take a quick catnap when I use it, which is quite nice … until I roll over. The doctors say the holes in my face should close up any day now.

I’m just kidding! I don’t have any holes in my face from the acupressure mat.

I love that I can use the pillow without any skin protection. My favorite time to use it is when I am watching TV – I like to kick my feet up and rest my neck against it at the end of the day.

Acupressure mats can be used to:

• Induce and deepen sleep (I think this was only achieved in a clinical trial, but, again, maybe I read it wrong)
• Relieve back, neck, hip and joint pain (apparently this has been clinically proven, but I have yet to experience such relief)
• Relax the abdomen, and relieve tension in your neck and face.
• Ease muscle tension
• Improve circulation
• Boost energy
• Achieve a deeper sense of relaxation

WARNING: It is important to remember to BREATHE as you relax on the mat. Breathing deeply always seems to dull the majority of the pain for me.

So, I urge you to try this mat yourself because there is a good chance you will just love it. My friend Manny (I’ve changed his name to protect his identity) LOVES his and he doesn’t even have to wear a protective covering!

GREAT SUGGESTION: If you clicked on the above You Tube link, as I originally suggested, you may want to let the melodious sounds of Nawang Khechog continue to play – I’m sure listening to his music while you work will relieve a lot of the tension and stress that will surely build throughout the day as you ponder your difficult, sometimes sad life.

And, please stay tuned for part 2 of the Breathe, Damn It series, which will focus on meditation.

Ommmmmmmmmmm

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.

T