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Here comes the turnip truck!


I used to think that yoga would be difficult for a person like me, as I am ridiculously NOT flexible; but, I was wrong. If you can breathe you can do yoga.

I love yoga, but lately I haven’t had a chance to practice it much. Heck, I can’t even find the time to write my blog articles, forget about downward dog! Anyway, not stretching has caused my muscles to shrivel up and I can barely even stand up straight anymore. This is the truth!

Jack loves to mock this little handicap of mine. Every chance he gets he assumes a yoga position, which he knows is very difficult, if not impossible, for me to practice and he laughs in my face.

Where’s the love, Jack? Where’s the love?

When I was yogaizing I was going to hot yoga and regular yoga and, like I said, I loved it – most of the time.

What I DIDN’T love was hoofing it to the gym each time I had to go to a class. I like working out in the comfort of my own home – so that is what I am going to start doing with yoga. I bought a few really great yoga DVDs to guide me through and this will make me feel like there are other people in the room with me and like I have a personal coach. Two stuffed birds, one stone. (It’s not nice to throw rocks at living things.)

I also DIDN’T much enjoy the hot yoga. Although I love the way the heat loosens up my muscles so quickly, I am likely to NOT choose the broiler oven option anymore because I sweat so profusely that I start slipping all over the mat and then I fall and then I hurt myself.

Yoga can be a very dangerous sport. If a person is not careful they can very easily knot themselves up and that hurts too. Comfortable pain is fine, but acute pain should never be a part of yoga.

In the future, I am sure I will have a day when I forget how much I do not like hot yoga and I will stupidly decide to practice it in a 100+ degree room – I will close all the windows and turn up the heat to broil – and at the end of that day I am sure I will ask myself: “What was I thinking?!”

In spite of the challenges to my body, I think that yoga really helps with stress-reduction. In fact, starting today I am going to try to do yoga every morning  – or every 2nd morning – for the rest of my life. I recently bought a book that I found on the bargain bookshelf at Barnes & Noble to help me with my plan.

I was motivated the minute I began reading the introduction. Here are the first words I read:

After their first yoga class, people often report that they’ve slept better and feel taller. Yoga has helped people lose weight, overcome fears, conquer habits like smoking and develop better concentration, all of which help their performance in daily tasks. Others feel improved self-awareness, a deeper sense of well-being, developed compassion, enhanced relationships, greater self-acceptance, and a sensation of being at peace.”

Good luck to me!


Pilates is another sport that I love to do and which I do well! I’m really good at strengthening my powerhouse and using my core muscles. Pilates even incorporates a little yoga – it is just not as boring as yoga.

Alas, if only I had the time to practice!

I own several Pilates videos and my very own Pilates machine. I just love it!

I recommend a Pilates reforming machine to anyone who wants to have a flexible and toned body … like a dancer’s.

I have practiced Pilates on and off for years, but have yet to achieve a dancer’s body. However, I know all that is going to change soon because I am going to start practicing again and this time it’s going to work! This time I am going to combine the Pilates workouts with the “Think System” of thinking things into reality and I am going to reshape my body!

If you are patient with yourself and with the process it will happen. I really believe that. Just a little bit longer …

I think you will love having your very own Pilates machine too, but if you buy one and you hate it then it is your own stupid fault for not trying it out first.

I also love that you can play with balls and rings and straps and weights and such when you practice Pilates. That is always a fun time.

Pilates is definitely my favorite sport to play. Definitely.

Stay tuned for part 4 of the Breathe, Damn It series, which will focus on facials and massages.


Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.