Here comes the turnip truck!

Hi Oprah. Hi Tina. Hi Ellen.

Well, my followers, the turnip truck has gone GLOBAL!

That’s right! I have my first subscribers from across the oceans and the skies and residing near the home of the famous Roman Forum in Rome, Italy.


My first European subscribers during their last visit to the States!

I enthusiastically thank my European fans for riding on the turnip truck! It is a pleasure to have you on board.

Onward we move.

Perhaps you’ve started to feel sad because you thought you weren’t going to hear more about Miss Margaret any time soon; well then, it’s time for you to turn that frown upside down!


My Friend Margaret

A Living Eulogy

Part IV of VI

Part IV

Following is a photograph of Me and Margaret from our last show together: To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday. We played sisters. Can you see the family resemblance?

Disclaimer:  Before I tell you about her next virtue, I want to disclaim that Margaret is really so jealous of me in every show that we do together because I always get the awesome costumes and she gets the not-so-awesome ones.

I believe Margaret believes that compared to those given to herself, my costumes are typically so much more flattering or interesting or glamorous or colorful or, as is often the case, they are all of these things at once. Margaret always tells people that I am tall and striking and that costume designers are inspired by my statuesque physique. I believe she is correct. This physical attribute is just one of the many gifts God gave me. I am blessed. Margaret has her own gifts.

To be costumed so beautifully show after show is just my reward for enduring comments like “she is just big-boned” or “at least she’s healthy” all my life. Margaret, being a petite creature, never heard such abominations growing up. She was one of the lucky ones.

The first show Margaret and I did together was La Cage Aux Folles. Following is an example of one of the 10+ outfits I wore during that production and an example of the only outfit Margaret got to wear.

Me. Note: This picture is NOT photoshopped. It is really me.

Margaret … and people say I’m pale. Doesn’t she look great as a red-head?

It seems to me Margaret and I looked more like sisters in La Cage than we did in Gillian. It must be the red heads of hair each of us was sporting back then.

I digressed. Back to the Living Eulogy…

Part IV

Margaret is a very awesome actor (that is the true part – it’s one of her gifts), but it is not this talent that makes her so stupendous – it’s her selflessness. Margaret is always choosing the less-than-awesome costumes when she is in a show [with me] so that her friends (and by “friends” I mean me) can have the stunning ones. And she never regrets that choice. (That is a lie – the costume designers force the frocks on her whether she likes it or not.)

In closing, I would like to bring this post full circle and drive the truck back to the Roman Forum. Following is a photo of me and Margaret in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Margaret always denies being in this show with me, but the proof is below. I’ve diagramed the picture for you because I know you won’t recognize Margaret unless I do.

Poor Margaret. On the upside, my costume really shows off my healthy, big-boned thighs.

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.