Here comes the turnip truck!

Since the last post I’ve been receiving a lot of emails from people about something I wrote: Find the barrel, Kermit! Kermit is the rodeo clown whom I spoke about in my last post and if you don’t know anything about rodeo clowns I will tell you it is a dangerous profession. Are you asking yourself “What is so dangerous about clowning?” There is a lot of dangerousness when you add an uncastrated male bovine to the mix!

As I understand it, a rodeo clown, also known as a bullfighter or rodeo protection athlete, is a rodeo performer who works in bull riding competitions. It is a rodeo protection athlete’s job to protect a fallen rider from the ferocious bull when he or she is thrown from or falls off the horned beast. The heroic bullfighter-clown bravely distracts the vicious animal while the cowboy runs frantically away.

A Regular Rodeo Clown

Like a regular circus clown, rodeo clowns entertain the crowds between main events, wear clown makeup and dress in bright, loose-fitting clothes, which are designed to break-away if the afore-mentioned bull’s horn or mouth gets stuck on any piece of it.

A Weird Rodeo Clown

It is normal to see rodeo clowns working together in groups of two or three, with two free roaming rodeo clowns and a third extra mischievous clown known as the barrel man. The clown who chooses to use the barrel prop is extra smart because this large padded device, which the clown can easily hop in and out of or use as a buffer, helps to better protect the clown from a bull attack.

A Smart Rodeo Clown

The rodeo clown’s job is finished when the bull gives up and/or gets tired and saunters back to his pen. After a long day of dangerous clowning, the rodeo clowns gather at a local saloon and kick back with a refreshing Shirley Temple drinky-drink and some spicy chicken wings.

The Reason Why Rodeo Clowns Drink So Much

People got a good chuckle out of the phrase Find the barrel, Kermit! so now I’m thinking we should all rally together and try to make it a popular cliché! Maybe you want to consider using FIND THE BARREL, KERMIT! in one of the following situations:

1. You are hanging out with a couple of people (friends, family, enemies, acquaintances, etc.) and one person starts reprimanding the other person for something. If you find yourself in this awkward situation say to the victim: Find the barrel, Kermit! This will either serve as a serious warning or defuse an intense situation. Try it.

The Awkward Fight

2. You are at work with one or more co-workers when your boss (or a crazy co-worker) has either done something silly, changed a long-standing rule, piled on more work, or is on a firing rampage of some sort. (Bosses are easy to scrutinize, but you must never forget about the crazy co-worker. Always keep your eye on him/her and, whatever else you do, don’t take their stapler away! This could make a crazy person go postal. That would be bad.) If you see signs of your boss/co-worker going crazy, you can warn all the normal people around you to take cover by saying: Find the barrel, Kermit! This could save a job or a life. Try it.


3. You and your sister Nancy are having fun playing with her new son, Jackson, when he decides to go to the bathroom … again. You notice that although Jackson is fully clothed and diapered-up he manages to spread the wealth and share the poop with his mom (and her favorite pair of Capri pants). If you find yourself witness to a predicament like this you should suggest that the baby’s dad and any other passers-by: Find the barrel, Kermit! The dad (and the passers-by) will really appreciate the warning and may even buy you a present to say “Thanks!” Wouldn’t that be fun? Try it.

Dirty Jack

 This may be the best cliché since sliced bread!

So what do you say? Let’s all try this new phrase and see if it catches on! There are millions of barrels around – I’m sure you can find one.

Until next time…

I’m turning off the turnip truck.